“Act of love”: the reason why more and more men are having vasectomies

After Andy and Erin Gress had their fourth child, Andy decided it was time to “ step up ” and help with family planning. So he did something that gives some men chills just thinking about it: he had a vasectomy .

It was an early morning last winter: a brief moment of peace, before juggling getting the kids ready for online school and Zoom calls from work. He happened to see a local news item about discounts being offered during " World Vasectomy Day ." He made an appointment that same day.

His wife had taken birth control pills, but she was struggling with the side effects . She had worked as a night nurse during four pregnancies, and the couple had children between the ages of 2 and 11.

“ The procedure was a complete relief, almost like the COVID injection, like she was safe now ,” said Gress , who works in higher education. " I wanted to be a man ."

But Gress 's action wasn't just about her family. He also believed that he should do more to support his wife and other women who don't believe the government should decide what they do with their bodies. “ I have seen the miracle of life ”, she said. " But I've also seen children who are born into poverty and misery and don't get a fair chance ."

With the Supreme Court poised to decide the fate of Roe v. Wade next year and with more than 20 states poised to ban or impose restrictions on abortion depending on what the court decides, some reproductive rights advocates say it's time for men to take a more active role both in family planning and in the fight for reproductive rights.

In their own form of protest, state legislators in Alabama , Illinois , and Pennsylvania have introduced legislation exposing gender double standards regarding reproductive rights.

Pennsylvania state Rep. Chris Rabb (Democrat) this fall introduced “ parodic ” legislation in response to the Texas law, amounting to a near total ban on abortion. Rabb 's proposal would force men to have a vasectomy after the birth of their third child or when they turn 40, whichever comes first . The law would be enforced by allowing Pennsylvanians to sue men who break it, with a $10,000 reward.

“ As long as state legislatures continue to restrict the reproductive rights of cis women, trans men and non-binary people, there must be laws that address the responsibility of the men who impregnate them. Therefore, my bill will also codify 'illicit conception' to include when a person has shown negligence in preventing conception during intercourse ,” Rabb wrote in a note on his proposal, as reported by the Keystone .

Rabb , a father of two who underwent a vasectomy in 2008 , said he only had to discuss his choice with his wife and his urologist. The purpose of his proposal, he said, was to expose the sexism, double standards and hypocrisy inherent in the anti-abortion debate . But it broke out in a way he didn't expect.

“ I underestimated the virulence of this proposal ,” Rabb said in an interview, adding that he has received thousands of hate-filled emails, Facebook posts and even death threats. “ The idea that a man has to put up with or even think about losing his bodily autonomy was met with outrage, when every day women are faced with this and it is somehow okay for the government to invade women's wombs and girls, but it should be off limits if vasectomy is proposed or men's reproductive rights are limited .”

Since December 1, the date the Supreme Court heard a case that is expected to decide the future of Roe v. Wade , social networks have been filled with tweets, memes and quips that use ironic humor to point out how almost never the role of men in reproduction is discussed. “ Are you against abortion? Get a vasectomy ,” reads one bumper sticker.

Koushik Shaw , a physician at the Urology Institute in Austin , Texas , said his practice saw a 15% increase in scheduled vasectomies after the Texas abortion ban went into effect on Sept. 1.

Patients are saying, "' Hey, I'm actually here because some of these changes that [Governor Greg] Abbott and our legislature have passed are really impacting our decision-making in terms of family planning,' so that was a new thing." to me as a reason – the first time, patients are citing a state law as their motivating factor ,” Shaw said.

Advocates say they want to be clear: They are not promoting vasectomy as a substitute for abortion rights, nor do they believe that men should have a say in abortion decisions. In 1976, the Supreme Court ruled in Planned Parenthood v. Danforth that parental consent was no longer required for abortions, largely because of the risk of violence or coercion in a relationship.

Doctors who perform vasectomies say they want men to be open and comfortable talking about the procedure rather than recoil in horror at the idea, said Doug Stein , a urologist known as the " Vasectomy King " for his billboards, coasters and postings in child support offices throughout Florida .

“ An act of love ”, for his partners, “ the ultimate way to be a good man ”, is how he and others market the procedure.

" It's a noticeable trend in the family planning community to recognize and promote vasectomy and birth control for men, where it was once considered more marginal ," said Sarah Miller , a family medicine doctor who has a practice privately in Boston and joined the Stein movement.

Advances in the 10-minute, no-needle, no-scalpel procedure need a cultural boost and perhaps some diversion to make men less shy when doctors approach their " stuff ," Stein said.

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Stein has a full-time vasectomy and vasectomy reversal practice in Tampa and has traveled the world performing the procedure. He was inspired by his concern for population growth, but he also wanted to train men to be responsible.

Stein , a father of two, underwent his own vasectomy more than 20 years ago.

Doctors say no reliable statistics are available on the number of men who have requested vasectomies since the Texas ban and US Supreme Court hearing. But, according to Miller , he has seen an increase in patients at the small clinic. which opened in Boston less than three years ago because it couldn't believe " the scarcity of options for men and people with man parts ."

At one point, he was told that vasectomy was not considered part of family planning, and he had to make his own arrangements to obtain the necessary training.

“ It warms my heart to hear men say, 'I'm so nervous, but I know this is NOTHING compared to what my wife has been through,' ” he said in an email.

" It's outrageous that we don't have more birth control options for people with man parts ," Miller said. “ There is even a mistaken feeling that birth control is not a man thing. That men can't be trusted, or would never be interested, and that has led to a lack of funding and development ,” she said.

Experts say it's difficult to engage men in the abortion debate, because on the abortion rights side, men don't want to be seen as questioning a woman's right to choose. And on the anti-abortion side, the procedure is considered murder. But some abortion-rights advocates argue that men have a vested interest in abortion being legal and safe, and " the fact that we're not fighting as hard as women is a shame ," said Jonathan Stack , co-founder , along with Stein , from World Vasectomy Day .

" The quality of life for millions of men will be negatively affected if this right is taken away from women ," said Stack , a documentary filmmaker who made a film about Stein called " The Vasectomist ."

Stack said that while filming the documentary, he would ask the men, “ Why do you choose to do this? ”.

“ They were expressing something that you rarely hear in movies about men: love or kindness or care ,” he said.

“ I had already come to believe that there was a story about masculinity that was not being told: not one of power and control or rage, but one of alienation, insecurities, uncertainty and fear ” , said.

“ We already know that men don't always want to use condoms, or they don't work, or well, they take them off ,” Esgar Guarín said with a sigh and a laugh. He is a family doctor who runs SimpleVas in Iowa and who performed Gress 's vasectomy.

Guarín trained with Stein and joined his movement. “ We have to invest in helping men understand how easy and safe vasectomies are ,” he said. After having two children, Guarín had a vasectomy on himself.

He also launched " Responsible Men's Clubs, " chat groups where men can share information such as that sexual performance is fine after the procedure, and that it " doesn't take away their manhood, but actually makes them best men ,” Guarín said.

A man asked for a kind of “ vasectomy passport ”, a letter from Guarín to show his wife that sex would now be worry-free.

Brad Younts , 45, said his wife, Lizz Gardner , wants him to become a " vasectomy evangelist " after undergoing the " easy procedure " without a hitch.

“ Men are great babies. Considering everything that women go through: menstruation, Pap tests, visits to the gynecologist ,” said Younts , who lives in Chicago . “ I am proud to have done it. And I told two friends who are also looking into it .”

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